What's over there?

It's not a deep philosophical question, but it's an energizing question that gets you off your butt to go exploring.

If it wasn't for that question, would any European have discovered North America? What about South America? What's over there? And Australia, what's over there then?

Would you ever find that great new restaurant or the coffee shop with the best views to sit and have coffee in without that question?

If it wasn't for that question, would everyone convince themselves that where they are is "good enough" and they never need to move again? And isn't "never need to move again" the definition of death?

Some questionnaire developers want to know the attitude of the responders, so they ask questions about your attitude towards change "Are you a change seeker or do you like things to stay the same?". In truth the answer is, of course, "It depends" on the situation. The orbit of the planet - yes, that would be a good thing to stay the same, we just don't want to know what would happen if the planet stopped moving. Changing newspaper boxes so you have one big one instead of a dozen little different colored ones all over the sidewalk - yes, you could change that and life would go on, be less cluttered, yup, change that.

But if they asked "Does the question 'What's over there?' get you interested in seeking out the answer?" that is much easier to answer, and may give them a better idea about the attitude of their responders. It would be easier to get rid of the "dead wood" that way, wouldn't it? Knuck, knuck, ooh, I like that one.

I think this has got to be one of my favourite questions. A whole world of possibilities are open to you when you ask this question.

Has anyone seen my screwdriver?

We are finally putting our books back into the second bedroom after the flood that made us frantically move them all out 2 months ago. We have a lot of books, so we needed more shelves and this was an appropriate time to add to our collection, so we needed to put together more shelves before beginning the long slow process of re-shelving the books.

The big stumbling block to this plan was a missing screwdriver. It wasn't where it should be, and it doesn't come when called.

Apparently we're not the only ones missing some tools that seem a bit out of reach. The astronauts on the space station have also lost some tools. During a space walk last week a tool bag deftly escaped from astronaut Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper. It floated off into the vacuum of space never to be seen again. Except now it's the latest challenge for amateur astronomers.

Find the tool bag. If you have a powerful telescope, an accurate watch, and can point the telescope in the right direction, there are instructions on the web on how to see the escaped tool bag in orbit. See this news article.

Typical humans, anywhere they go they misplace their screwdrivers. No shelves going up in the space station now, they won't be able to grab a good book and a cup of tea and get comfortable.

What do I want to watch?

On the weekend the spouse was busy putting together some of his favourite photos to create a book (potentially quite a nice book, updates to follow). So he said "watch whatever you want on the TV, but not a pirate movie". OK, so maybe I've played those DVDs too much lately, but what do I want to watch?

I want to watch something with adventure, humour, fun, physical action... no, actually I want to be IN something with all those things. I want movies to take the next step and be 3 dimensional, and I want to be involved in them, not just watching them on a flat screen.

We have a Wii game console, it's a great tool for having fun because you typically stand while playing a game, and your arms swing and you can actually work up a sweat. Unlike other game consoles, your thumbs are not the only part of your body getting exercise when you play with the Wii. I want the same kind of interaction with movies. I want to do sword fights and swim underwater and be inside the movie.

So how long do we have to wait for this to happen? The Star Trek series was said to inspire the iPod and other MP3 players into existence. When will something inspire enough smart people to create the technology to put people inside a movie rather than in a chair watching a flat screen?

Sometimes progress is just too slow.

What is that mouse doing?

Dude. If you want a freaky experience, try using a wireless mouse when you're half asleep - or half pickled.

The neat thing about a wireless mouse is, it's wireless. The neater thing is, you really can't tell which way is up and which way is down when the mouse is upside down!

Try using the wireless mouse with the buttons at the base of your palm and the other end under your fingers. The pointer does really freaky things, and it's really hard to click that thing!

Don't drink and surf... the mouse will be your undoing!

What's another term for overly ambitious?

Dehumidifying Vancouver

So we have a flood in our apartment building and for the 3rd time, yes, the water is on our floor and in the walls of our apartment. So we have the disaster recovery dudes come in, rip up carpets, drill holes in kitchen cabinet toe kicks, put 3 industrial strength fans in a bedroom and the kitchen. and put a huge dehumidifier in the bedroom. The disaster recovery guys are typically fun guys, they cheerfully rip up your home and warn you to keep the windows closed, or else the dehumidifier won't work - it will "dehumidify Vancouver" before it will take the water out of your room if you leave the window open.

Now there's a term! Dehumidify Vancouver. The mere thought brings to mind many other fun overly ambitious terms like:

* boiling the ocean
* solves all our problems
* hole in one
* self-appraisal
* honest feedback
* getting your ducks in a row
* business intelligence
* help hotline
* herding cats

Did you remember to bring the...?

It's taken ages to get everything together and you're outside your apartment waiting for the elevator now. Then someone says "Did you remember to bring the ..."

Now the elevator door opens and there's someone in the elevator. So you either:
* decide we really didn't need that anyway and go into the elevator
* split up and arrange to meet downstairs at the place you usually meet up when this happens
* apologize for making the elevator stop and everyone goes back into the apartment ... thus starting over again: "Did you remember to bring the ..."

On the outside of my apartment building there is a lot of construction work going on. This means that there are at least 5 construction platforms being used by the construction workers to go up and down the outside of the building. They are like little, slow elevators. They've been doing this for months, getting onto years now. Up and down. Slowly. The men on these little elevators wreak of body odor and cancer stick smoke and it all gets blown into our apartment. Day after day.

It's become quite obvious that the "Did you remember to bring the ..." problem is a plague on these construction workers. First thing in the morning, you hear the little motors going and the bumping on the outside wall begins. The babbling of radio programs gets louder as the platforms get closer to our floor, then fades as the platform goes higher. The stench of body odor and cancer stick smoke makes everyone inside wrinkle their noses in disgust. A few minutes later, the motors get louder again, the radio blabber gets louder, the smell gets worse. Then it fades again as they reach the ground. Half an hour later and yes, they are back, once again with the motor, the radio, the stench. They forgot to bring something.

It's annoying when you're going out for the day and have to go back to get something. But wouldn't you have a checklist if you spent your days going up and down on slow little elevators for a living? Wouldn't the aggravation of having to go back down to get a forgotten tool just drive you nuts?

Did I mention that the building is about 30 stories tall? Urgh.

What would you do with 100 traffic cones?

You've seen them everywhere. Bright orange traffic cones placed in areas that someone doesn't want you to drive or walk in. Do you ever wish you had your own set of traffic cones?

You could put them in a parking space you particularly like as you left it, so you could get the same spot the next day.

You could put them in your neighbor's parking space because they do such a bad job at parking, you just want to be rid of them for a while.

You could put them in the open field of a local park in a strange circular pattern and claim it was crop-circle aliens annoyed that there were no crops to play with, so they collected traffic cones and brought them to the field.

Or if you were really adventurous, you could block off one lane of the Burrard Street Bridge in Vancouver, all the way from the South end to just over the hump in the middle of the bridge. And then you could have lunch, on the road, on the hump of the bridge where the view is the best. I swear this is what a group of road workers were doing a couple of days ago. They had at least 100 traffic cones lined up, and at the end of the line of cones were two road-work trucks, and between them: guys having a break, enjoying the view. Traffic was minimal, so it wasn't a big deal, it was just something that made you wonder: Should you be annoyed, or jealous?

What was I watching?

Have you ever been watching a TV program and realized that you couldn't remember what the program was? You know you've seen at least 10 commercials in the last 5 minutes, and they were all annoying - even with the sound muted. But you can't remember what the program snippets they were showing between the commercial breaks were about.

I guess it's time to change channels. OK, actually it's time to turn off the TV, you aren't getting any younger, and this has sucked away too much of your life to begin with.

It is possible that the TV networks have found the tipping point where people will actually turn their TVs off rather than have to watch yet another commercial? The last time I gave up on whatever it was I was watching and went to read a book I was watching the Discovery Channel, I think. Yes, at least 3 of the commercials being shown were for the Discovery Channel itself, so that was probably what I was watching. Is this a ploy by some well meaning individuals at the Discovery Channel to get people to stop watching so much TV? Yeah, I doubt it too.

It is already so much more enjoyable to watch your favourite TV programs on DVD, the overwhelming number of commercials shown on regular TV could mean its demise. There are already many TV programs which have done the “straight to DVD movies” - essentially long episodes not shown on TV at all – which have sold quite well. I think it's a safe bet that TV networks are well on their way out of existence.

Well. What did I come in here for?

I came in here for a reason. I'm sure I did. Was it to get something? Hmm...

Oh yeah, I forgot to bring that in with me. I'll go get it, maybe I'll remember what I came in here for when I get it.

Now, what was it I came back out here for?


I've recently seen “What did I come in here for?” posted as a suggestion for a fun quasi-Olympic sport on my favourite writer's fan-club website. I think this could make for an interesting challenge. The prizes would be hard to award, or remember where you put them, but how many times do people find themselves getting into a room, know they are there for a reason, but they just can't remember what it is? It's not an age thing – the person who suggested it first is only 18!

So why does the change in scenery make you forget something that made you get up and move towards it?

Could this be used for good? If you were about to have a fist-fight with someone, could you distract them, tell them they forgot to bring something and get them to go back and get it, thus disarming them? They would forget what they went in there for, and stand and think about it long enough that you could escape. OK, that does sound a bit like a Monty Python sketch, but would it work?